May is Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month

National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder
http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/

Acceptance

Happiness comes from accepting the present situation, whether it’s something you wish to savor as long as possible or change as quickly as you can. Neither is possible without acceptance as the starting point, because without acceptance, you are living on the *periphery of your life. There at the edges, you can’t fully enjoy the good stuff or do anything about the rest.

Victoria Moran

Creating A Charmed Life

*(Periphery-border,boundary,circumference,surface)

My favorite support site for (BPD) partners

My favorite support site for those with partners and family members with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
http://bpdfamily.com/index.html

BPD family helped me tremendously through their extensive information and forum. It is very user friendly and divides topics. Regardless if you are in, out, or still deciding to stay in the relationship, there is a forum for you.
BPD Forum

You MUST see this! There really are men that honor women-VIDEO

I am surprised and thrilled that there is a movement like this that honors women.
Click to view "Dear Women" Video

Healing the Masculine and Feminine Split

Consciousmen.com is the exciting new website of Gay Hendricks and Arjuna Ardagh. At the heart of world problems lies the separation of the masculine and feminine. For far too long, we have lived with the brutality of the masculine in the forms of war, rape and other atrocities. The time has come to acknowledge and accept our responsibility and ask forgiveness. This is the mission of consciousmen.com and comes at exactly the right moment. Please join me in becoming a member of this great site and help accelerate the reunion of the masculine and feminine in each other and ourselves.

Healing the Masculine and Feminine Split

May You Have Peace

May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

WHAT ARE YOU REALLY DEALING WITH?

"Why did/didn't you do that?"

I did/didn't tell you that!"

You did/ didn't tell me THAT!"

You always/never _________________!" <---Fill in the blank

"You said/ didn't say ________________!" <---Fill in the blank

Sounds like a lot of relationships out there, doesn't it? There are differences of opinion in "normal" relationships. Everyone bickers at some point. Sometimes it is silly or irrational and gets out of control. After all, we all have different perspectives, and we are entitled to our own opinion, right?  What transpires in a relationship with a disordered person is that the blame is ALWAYS on the other person. The outbursts come out of nowhere. The conversation usually turns violent. They absolutely always have to have their way. They use threats, intimidation, verbal abuse, and sometimes physical abuse if you dare to disagree, contradict, or correct. Even the most  innocent and benign discussion can turn on a dime. You walk away feeling belittled, confused, and afraid.  In between those times they either act like nothing at all just happened and their madly in love with you, or treat you like your their worst enemy and won't speak a kind word.

The worst part is that it happens many times a week, and sometimes multiple times a day!

If this scenario sounds like something you have been experiencing in your relationship...I ask that you research these terms:

Red Flags

Narcissist

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Sociopath

Psychopathy

You may think that is simply "a bad temper", "the booze", "the drugs", "the sexual addiction", etc..

(ALCOHOL AND DRUGS AND OTHER ADDICTIONS DO NOT MAKE PEOPLE ABUSE OTHERS)

YES YOU ARE BEING ABUSED!  BUT...This is more than being moody or having a bad temper! You may be dealing with an individual with a dangerous mental illness. It is dangerous for you as well as them. Their violent rages know no boundaries. They have no empathy for other people or their feelings. Their thoughts are distorted and they don't fight fair. They are beyond self centered...it is about survival for them. Survival of their ego. Even though they seem self-assured and strong, they feel weak inside. Therefor they must control everything and everyone around them at all costs. They feel entitled  to get and do what they want, when they want it....by any means. Even (and especially) if  it means destroying those closest to them and those they love. After all, loved ones can hurt them the most, and probably have in the past.  Much of it stems from childhood trauma or abuse,  or exposure to dysfunctional adult role models. They have a horrible fear of abandonment and feel worthless.

DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR THEM! Victims oftentimes become predators looking for someone to victimize. Their anger over past hurts is a volcano that will consume you in a heartbeat.

DON'T TRY TO RESCUE THEM!  We all have the ability to  look within and take responsibility to save ourselves. They will surely grab hold of your life jacket just to keep their own head above water.

PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR SANITY.  Weigh the risks and the benefits. What have you sacrificed so far? How much more are you willing to give up?

YOUR HOPES-YOUR DREAMS-YEARS-YOUR HEALTH-YOUR SANITY-YOUR LIFE?

*NOTE-PLEASE VISIT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SITES TO SEEK HELP FOR YOURSELF AND CHILDREN AND FOR SUGGESTIONS ABOUT A SAFETY PLAN...AND NEVER, NEVER, NEVER CONFRONT YOUR ABUSER ABOUT THEIR POSSIBLE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.